Sunday, December 21, 2008

Scariest Night!

Imagine your computer crashing... and having to do a total recovery.. going to bed thinking you have lost the last two or three? years of your "computer life"..

I went through all the stages of grief. anger.. denial...

Trying to maintain the higher spiritual aspect of it, but then come crashing down to thinking it is all lost..

Is mercury retrograde or something????

This morning I turned on the computer to my own desktop picture :-)

A Christmas Miracle!!! but unable to connect to the internet.

Trouble shooting for what felt like hours on the phone to no avail... call HP.

I explained and then ... another Christmas miracle.. it connected!

Not exactly the way it used to.. but hey, I'm here :-)

I have all my pictures.

My documents.

My blogs..

oooooh computer... I love you so much.. please be good now.

I'm going to get some discs now to upload my photos, as I now have another chance.

Life is good.

a bit nerve-wracking at times... but in general it is. Life has more ups than downs.

It was interesting to observe my feelings last night.

Is this what death feels like? If I feel like this about my computer, what will it feel like when a loved one passes on. In the big picture, it all passes.... and does it really leave? It all just changes form.... all part of All That Is.

how attached we are to those "things" we have... attached to life.

Enjoy it while it's here.


Stacy Wills said...

oh bless your heart...i had to get a new computer recently and have experienced the feelings of loss you so eloquently described. glad we're both still here in the blogosphere to tell the tale! p.s. when stuff like this happens, i try to remember the lessons mandala making has taught me about non-attachment. sometimes so much easier said than done!

Chaska said...

I know that if we are to live a spiritual life we have to live in the present....and be grateful for the present. Our computer is just a pile of money (the replacement) and several years of our past. Losing that feels like giving up a big chunk of ourselves! Fear....lots of fear, but, I think we would recover relatively quickly. I don't know what I'm talking about. I now have a networked laptop, so everything is being recorded on it, as well. I feel that this is one possible loss I actually can guard against.